Hi,
I didn't even think you remembered me. I used to have a huge crush on you in university. You were my first virtual crush and I lusted after what you could do for a long time. We even dated a couple of times. Nothing serious; just a few dinners, movies and virtual servers.
Then we both moved on.
We both got older and wiser over the years, and when you asked me to try things again I was at first surprised that you even remembered me, but I thought it might be worth a shot.
I was wrong.
You're fitter than before, I'll grant. You look even more attractive now than then; you're faster and more versatile, and those are good things. You were the first to show me what Windows 8 could look like, and I'll never forget that.
But here's the killer: you're an unpredictable bitch.
It's not okay to promise one thing and then do another. When I changed the memory settings on a VM, you told me that you'd need apply those changes once I restarted the VM. You didn't tell me that you'd suspend the VM to disk and break what I was doing. I'm not arguing about who's more important; I'm upset that you didn't ask.
It's not okay to lie about your connections. You said that Bridged Networking was a mutual friend, but it turns out you don't really know him that well at all. You spend all your time hanging out with his loser cousins, NAT and Host-only. What sort of loser name is Host-only, anyway?
It's not okay to spew services all over the couch (I count five) after a big night of installing, to leave your toothbrush in my bathroom or your icons in my system tray without asking. You keep changing them, too, so it always feels like there's a stranger in the house. Which, I guess, there is.
The last straw, however, is this: just like changing the furnishings in my apartment, it's not okay to rearrange my underwear drawer, hang your own pictures or remove my Visual Studio keyboard mappings and replace them with your own. You messed with my Visual Studio keyboard mappings! That's total relationship death right there.
Maybe you can sort out your issues and maybe you can't. Either way, you need to get some help. Even your parents (@vmware) don't answer when people tell them what you've been up to.
VMware, I'm over you. I'm off to take your cute little sister, Hyper-V, out to dinner.
Andrew Harcourt
